Drama|Fujoshi, Ukkari Gei ni Kokuru

AYYYY BAYOG Fam! June is Pride Month, so I got a special drama post for y’all! A J-Drama to be exact. I’ll be covering the 2019 drama 腐女子、うっかりゲイに告る/Fujoshi, Ukkari Gei ni Kokuru. It’s based on the light novel 彼女が好きなものはホモであって僕ではない/Kanojo ga Sukina mono wa Homo de Atte Boku dewa Nai. The English title of the novel is, She Likes Homos, Not Me. There’s also a 2018 manga adaptation with the same title as the original light novel. I previously [covered the manga] last year. The 2019 drama stars Kaneko Daichi and Fujino Ryoko. It’s a relatively short drama with 8 episodes that are 30 minutes long. To be honest, I’d been meaning to do this post nearly a year ago when I covered the manga… It’s just been sitting in drafts for ages LOLOL But I figured it’d be a good time to talk about it considering how June is Pride Month~ While the series isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, I do honestly recommend it. I really liked the manga series and found it to be so incredibly insightful. Especially in regards to societal and psychological pressures, prejudice, homophobia, internal struggles, self-loathing, pressure, etc. It’s a journey of growth, and honest, I felt like it was more of a realistic experience than a simply fictional story. So I was excited to see how the drama would turn out. Quick spoiler: it’s on my Minty approved drama list.

[Warning: This post contains some spoilers!~]

As I said before, this series is LGBTQ+ related. While the series focuses on the story of a gay teenaged boy, I feel like the message is relevant to every part about the LGBTQ+ communities. The series portrays the psychological struggles one undergoes in regards to their sexuality, the pressure, prejudice, and hatred they face on a daily basis. I’m open-minded and fully support my dear LGBTQ+ friends. My opinion is that everyone is allowed to identify however they like, to be attracted to whomever they like, and to love whomever they like. In the end, just do you cuz we’re all people. Your happiness is your own business, and doesn’t depend on what others think. Although I must admit that I may still have some ignorance in regards to terms and phrases. So I apologize if I mis-phrase something or fail to express my words and intentions properly. Please know it was not my intention to offend anyone. If I make a mistake, please correct me. I admit I’m not all that knowledgeable, but I’m ready to learn because I do care about my friends.

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BEFORE YOU START THE SERIES:

TRIGGER WARNING: suicide/suicidal thoughts are brought up in the series!!!

OTHER CONTENT WARNING: affairs, bullying, p*dophilia(Main character is a high schooler dating a middle aged man; There is also mention of a 15 year old who was in a relationship with someone in their mid-twenties)

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SYNOPSIS
High schooler, Andou Jun, one day witnesses his classmate, Miura Sae, buying BL manga. Miura becomes flustered and panics. She begs Andou to keep it a secret that she’s a fujoshi. Jun tells her that BL is just a fantasy and gayness in real life is seen as something dirty. However, he’s taken aback when she tells him that saying something like that is offensive to gay people. He keeps her secret, and they end up becoming closer. Miura ends up developing feelings for Andou. However, Andou has a secret that no one knows. He’s homosexual, and has a relationship with an older married man who has kept his homosexuality a secret as well. Andou wishes he could be “ordinary” and live an “ordinary life”; To get married, have a wife, and have his own kids. However, he just isn’t sexually attracted to women. He’s ultimately filled with self-loathing as he struggles with himself. But he thinks that maybe Miura can accept him, and he might just be able to live a “normal life” if it’s with her.

Again, this drama is based on the light novel and manga series, 彼女が好きなものはホモであって僕ではない/Kanojo ga Sukina mono wa Homo de Atte Boku dewa Nai. In English, it’s known as She Likes Homos, Not Me. I stumbled upon the manga last year during quarantine. The title caught my eye cuz I was like, “Wuht…??” Also, remember I don’t really read the synopsis most of the time. I just dove in cuz I thought the art looked nice. It was definitely very different for me. Apparently, the series wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea. However, I actually did enjoy the manga. I found it to be really insightful. I mean I’m a CIS-woman who’s hetero (probably aromantic though tbh). Of course I support everyone, because that’s their business; Not mine or anyone else. Also, what’s important is what makes YOU happy and makes YOU feel YOU. However, no matter how supportive I am of my friends, the truth is that I will never truly know their feelings or experiences. I can only understand to like a surface level, because that’s not something I have experienced. For me, the series was interesting and eye opening because of how it deeply explores the psychological turmoil and experiences that the character and LGBTQ+ community faces. It made me view everything from another aspect, showing me experiences and thoughts that I never really thought of before. Specifically in regards to it being in a conservative Asian country/community.

First off, I’m a fairly liberal Thai-American who grew up in a somewhat conservative and traditional Asian and Buddhist household. However, I also attended private Catholic junior high and high schools (my family has always been open to learning about unfamiliar things). The western media I’m surrounded with also tends to portray the same kind of scenarios and reasons. Either way, we only ever really only hear the same basic arguments of things like religion and conservatism. This series explored the societal and psychological pressures of “being normal”. As well as fearing acceptance and fear from peers and loved ones. Yes, western media covers that at times too. Again, however, I feel like this series portrayed it to a more deeper level, with getting you to really feel the emotional and psychological struggles that Jun goes through. He wants to be married, have kids, have a family, and die surrounded by loved ones. But he’s made to feel that he would be denied those things simply because he’s homosexual. I also liked how they showed Jun’s love for Queen’s music, and how it was his solace. It was a way to give him comfort and feel himself. I totally can relate to that (if y’all haven’t been able to tell from my [Mental Health Awareness Playlists]). The iconic band Queen, front man Freddie Mercury, and their music plays a pretty big role in the series. You can also kind of draw parallels of Jun and Freddie Mercury.

“I really wanted it… ‘Normal’…”

-Jun | Ep 5 Bohemian Rhapsody

It’s a series that shows you Jun’s struggles, his thoughts, his emotions, his self-deprecation, and his internalized hatred. We’re also told of everyone’s different situations, and how they’ve dealt with it. For example, Jun’s much older boyfriend who’s basically living a double life. He’s actually homosexual as well (obviously), but is married and has a wife and kid. All to hide this part of him, to be accepted in society, and to live a “normal life”. We’re shown how people wear a mask or show different personas. We’re shown the longing and struggle to be accepted and “be normal”. We see that how people truly are and the depth of what they feel is vastly different from what we see on the surface. It’s a heavy and emotional series, but that’s what I liked about it. I liked that it wasn’t simply black and white, or simply portrayed as good or bad. It’s a human story that wasn’t just about pretty things, but realistically portrayed the dark and ugly sides. It showed the reality of prejudice, homophobia, internal struggles, self-loathing, pressure, etc. It showed multiple perspectives and choices. We’re shown that people easily say and do things, without considering the effects or consequences. Because of that, the story and characters feel very real. I’m sure such people and experiences can be found in real life as well. So yeah, I liked the realism. Because to me, this didn’t feel like just a story, but an actual experience.

“I wonder why people like us were born.”

-Mr. Fahrenheit | Ep 4 The March of the Black Queen

Again, I really liked the manga series. So I was surprised to find that there was also a live action drama. So hell yeah, I was going to give it a go. It just took me a while. However, it’s a pretty short series and definitely doable. I just wondered how it would portray such an emotional story and journey. Again, the manga was definitely pretty heavy at times, and it got pretty dark and ugly at times. Like hellaaaa heavy, dark, and ugly. The story and the characters were very emotional too. So I was concerned if the drama could pull it off. After all, dramas do tend to change things a bit differently. After all, it has to be fit in an allotted time. It also has to be more “viewer friendly” too. So they tend to hit pretty differently too. However, it’s a kind of story and characters that, I feel anyway, should try their best to channel that emotional storytelling, psychological turmoil, and realism. After all, that’s what the essence of the series was about.

So how did it do? As I suspected, the drama did feel more light-hearted in tone, and a bit more comedic at times. Particularly in the first half. It wasn’t bad though. Things did feel a bit changed and hit a bit differently. Of course it’s also not as in depth, and is slightly watered down compared to the manga that I read. So it just didn’t hit as hard is all. However, it actually wasn’t bad. I thought it still did a great job overall, and it still managed to keep the essence of the original (well from what I saw in the manga anyway). I will say I’m glad about slight changes in regards to the portrayal of Jun’s relationship with Makoto, his older boyfriend. Uh… Jun basically has some daddy issues and that’s why he’s attracted to a much older man. This part is mentioned in the drama as well. Although it seems slightly (just slightly) less creepy cuz manga Makoto looked hella older. I also believe uh… there were a bit more twisted things going on in regards to Makoto and Jun’s relationship in the manga. Makoto had issues too, but I’m glad that part was omitted from the drama.

“I don’t want to think I am disgusting.”

-Jun | Ep 3 The Show Must Go On

We do still see a part of Jun’s psychological struggle and turmoil. There are constant questions of, “Why were we born like this?”, of whether being gay makes them disgusting, why he can’t be normal, and the question if he can be entitled to a “normal life” and “normal happiness” like everyone else. There’s also the guilt of keeping up the lie while being with Miura, who has no idea that Jun is gay. Although it’s not as heavy and in depth as the manga, the drama still gives us a good idea of what he’s going through and what he’s thinking. If I remember correctly, in the manga he was much more pessimistic and often had depressing and suicidal thoughts. The depth of his self-hatred is heartbreaking too. He doesn’t seem as pessimistic as the manga. I think we don’t see as much of his suicidal thoughts in the drama like how it was in the manga as well. So the psychological struggle and turmoil hits slightly different. It’s not bad, but I do enjoy the manga version more because of how hard it hits and the depth you feel from it. I felt like the manga gave more food for thought. But that’s just me. Still, I thought the drama portrayal was good enough. I also appreciated that it also still portrayed the different people in Jun’s life, showing their circumstances, reactions, and growth as well. Again, watered down and not as in depth. But still enough to make us think of how everyone is not the same, they deal with things differently, and ultimately everyone makes their own choices.

Again, Queen’s music had a big part in the series and for Jun. It plays a big part in expressing Jun’s thoughts, emotions, and situations. They faithfully kept that in the drama. This is something that worked well since they actually used Queen’s music throughout the series. So that’s one aspect where it understandably hit harder in the drama than the manga. Each episode is also named after a particular Queen song, and goes along with the events/vibe of that episode.

Ep 1 – [Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy]
Ep 2 – [I Want It All]
Ep 3 – [The Show Must Go On]
Ep 4 – [The March of the Black Queen]
Ep 5 – [Bohemian Rhapsody]
Ep 6 – [Somebody to Love]
Ep 7 – [We Will Rock You]
Ep 8 – [Don’t Stop Me Now]

Episodes and Song Titles

Again, I found this aspect of Freddie Mercury, Queen, and their music to be such an interesting and important part of the series (both the manga and drama). After all, it brought together people of different ages/generations, sexes, and sexual orientation. It had an impact on their relationships, their emotions, was an outlet, and was a sanctuary for them. Freddie Mercury, Queen, and their music had been around like ages ago. But it’s cool to see the effect it has on different groups, and to see it be something that brought together so many different people. In the drama, it’s clear that Jun idolizes Freddie Mercury. It’s still shown that Queen’s music brought Jun closer to some people like Mr. Fahrenheit, his internet penpal. Parallels between Freddie and Jun can be seen. However, it’s not made as obvious or in detail as it is in the manga. For example, the manga discusses the importance of Freddie and Mary’s relationship a bit more in detail, and it’s then made more obvious that Miura is Jun’s Mary. I feel the drama just barely touched on that, and it would only really be obvious to those more familiar with Freddie Mercury’s life. For those of you who don’t know, Mary Austin was Freddie Mercury’s long-time girlfriend. They even lived together for several years. Freddie had an affair with a male record executive during their relationship, and he ended up coming out to her. Their relationship ended. Freddie moved out, but he bought Mary a place. They remained close friends until the end of his life. He called her his only true friend. He viewed their relationship as something very special. He said she was irreplaceable, and was his common-law wife. So spoiler, but do keep that in mind when you see the part about Jun talking about how he did in fact really like Miura.

“People may say they don’t mind homosexuals, but they’re bound to be curious when one actually appears. Homosexuals know this, that’s why they don’t come out. So isn’t it cowardly to say things that merely sound good?”

– Ono | Ep 7 We Will Rock You

While the first half felt more light-hearted and not as heavy as the manga, the second half was really emotional. I think it did a great job of portraying some of that raw emotion in the manga. Particularly from the end of ep 5. It definitely felt very real. My heart was in pain, and I legit cried. The dark and ugly sides really came out, and it was absolutely heartbreaking. It was full of complex and raw emotion. It portrayed alot of things. From prejudice, to people spewing hateful and harmful things without considering the consequences. As well as people who try to play off responsibility of their actions. People think it’s all fun and games until something dire happens. Literally, we see Jun try so desperately to be what he’s not in a hopeful wish of being “normal”. To him being consumed with negativity, anger, and hatred. Constantly questioning your birth and existence, finding blame, and being consumed with self-hatred. It truly is heartbreaking, because the truth is there’s nothing wrong with you being you. While the series focuses on Jun, we’re still shown that everyone faces similar experiences and worries. However, we’re all different. We have different resolves, and everyone chooses different paths. Some are positive, while others may be negative. Some are out and proud. Some choose to live a lie and hide their true selves. And some… unfortunately, are consumed by everything that’s been eating away them. There are things that end in a positive note, while others may end in tragedy.

“Our shameful parts might be our most loveable ones, you know.”

-Mr. Fahrenheit | Ep 6 Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy

While the drama was watered down, I feel like the second half really did a wonderful job of portraying all the complex emotions and worries. As well as the realistic portrayals of such situations and reactions. You could feel it, and you could definitely see that happening to someone somewhere out there in real life. While it is heavy, it is a journey. It’s a journey with Jun and everyone growing and learning. It’s also a journey about loving yourself. Again, I liked that this series was about showing all sides: the good, the bad, and the ugly. Whether it be from Jun himself, or those around him. Again, it makes it seem so much more realistic, as well as pointing out the issues people face on a daily basis. We’re shown that one should accept and grow from what we feel ashamed of, but also be proud. Because what we might find to be shameful, may actually be something loveable. There’s no shame in what makes us who we are. It’s not only applicable to Jun and the matters regarding one’s sexuality either. Because it also applied to Miura and her feeling the need to keep her fujoshi hobbies and interest in BL a secret. It’s something that in the past she was made to feel ashamed of. However, it’s what got her and Jun closer. Her personality and her unique views and thoughts were because of her fujoshi tendencies. It’s something she thought might be shameful to show others, but it’s what made her more open minded and accepting. It’s something Jun liked about her, and made him feel that maybe she could accept him for who he was. Likewise, Miura liked Jun because he didn’t judge her for being a fujoshi. Even if she didn’t know it was because he was gay. She was able to be herself around him and felt accepted by him. That’s what made her fall for him.

“Humans are creatures that make the world simple so that they themselves can understand things.”

-Mr. Fahrenheit | ep 1

“You can run, but not from yourself.”

-Kate | Ep 7 We Will Rock You

The series had some important messages and lessons. One such thing is that things are not simple. They are not black and white. Things can actually be complex. However, people have a hard time grasping things they cannot understand. So we try to simplify things in order to understand them. But we need to remember things like love and one’s identity aren’t meant to be defined so simply. There is also no need to simply fit in a box. There’s also no need to deny who you are. You can try to hide from others and run, but ultimately you’re not able to run from yourself. You are who you are. We are shown that in how Miura clearly loves Jun. While Jun is clear that he is gay, he also admits that he did love Miura. Again, love has many definitions and forms. People are free to like what they like, and love what they love.

“After all in whatever shape it may be, loving a person is a wonderful thing.”

– Miura | Ep 7 We Will Rock You

While the drama was more watered down and not as shocking in order to suit TV viewing, I thought it was still a great live action adaptation. While it wasn’t as in depth, it still portrayed everything that was needed. It’s not as intense as the manga, but it’s still a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. We’re shown heavy, dark, and ugly things. But we’re also shown happy and hopeful things. There are regrets, as well as things to be grateful for. The series, be it the manga or drama, aren’t particularly considered a favorite of mine. However, I think it as something impactful and insightful for me. It may not be my favorite series, but it’s definitely a series that will always stick to me. I appreciated that it’s focus on sharing an experience that I cannot live. It prompted me to think about things a bit more deeply and consider things I didn’t really consider before. Like how people feel pressured to the point of living a double life or forcing themselves to “be normal”. I was aware such things can happen, but I didn’t really think about it and the impact it had on people until the series. It also showed how fearful and hurtful people’s words and actions are; Whether in ignorance and without malice, or whether it’s said intentionally with malice. I still prefer the manga because of how much more in depth it was, and how much harder it hit. However, I really did enjoy the drama series still. I was really moved by the raw emotions that the actors were able to portray. I honestly thought that they did such a great job. Again, making it seem so much more real. Because ultimately such things do happen in real life. As I said before, more than just a story and characters, it was more of an experience. An experience that real people go through on a daily basis.

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On another note, I just found out (literally just now) that there’s going to be a movie adaptation. It’s called  彼女が好きなものは/Kanojo ga Sukina Mono wa, or “What She Likes”. I thought it looked pretty good from the trailer. So I’m looking forward to seeing how that one is compared to the drama and manga.

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Anyway, that’s it friends. Sorry for the messy rambling? I’m still like incredibly sleep deprived, and been trying to work on this post for ages. I was just really excited to talk about it, but also unsure how to address everything. I feel like it’s just such an important topic, but definitely something I can’t really talk about very eloquently. Part of it is due to myself still being somewhat ignorant. I’m still unfamiliar with how to address things, but I’m still learning too. However, it’s also because it’s not my experience nor is it my place to say anything on behalf of the LGBTQ+ community. What I can say and learned from this drama is that people need to be more open, and not only understanding, but they also need to be more empathetic. Everyone has different experiences, but they all commonly face alot of hate, prejudice, and unfair pressures. We tend to just take things into account on a surface level. After all, humans like to simplify everything because that’s how we’re able to understand things. But I feel like this series helps us realize more of the toll on a psychological level. I hope it enables you to look past your ignorance, and think beneath the surface. Think a bit more on the weight that one carries, the weight from having to conceal and reject who you are, and the weight from the fear of ridicule and rejection. I also sincerely, hope people think more carefully before they say things. People also need to consider the responsibilities of their words and actions. Words and actions are very impactful. Especially when it comes from a loved one. They can cause one to close up, and they can also push one over the edge. Some actions cannot be undone. Anyway…as for me, I’ll continue to love and support my friends no matter what they are. Whatever you are, you’re still my friends, and I still love you~ It doesn’t change a thing for me, other than wanting to know more about what makes you feel you, and what makes you happy. Everyone has a right to love and happiness. We all just have different paths and journeys, but ultimately love comes in all shapes and forms. No matter it’s shape, it’s still something wonderful. It’s an interesting and beautiful experience, and I hope you all get a chance to check it out; Whether it’s the drama, manga, or original light novel. Happy Pride, y’all! You do you! Be proud of who you are~ I love you all, and I wish you nothing but happiness and support~ Take care friends~

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