MHAM Playlist|Music & Mental Health Vol. 5

Hello, hello my BAYOG luvs~ It’s Minty~ I’ve come to continue our MHAM Playlist series of posts~ I don’t know if anyone’s been taking a look at these posts or songs, but I’ve enjoyed doing them. My goal for these posts are to help be a source of understanding and comfort during difficult times. It’s not much, but I’m happy if it helps one person. Even if it’s just a little bit. Because sometimes you don’t want to or can’t talk about how you feel. Still, it’s sometimes just comforting to see someone understands. Anyway, let’s continue onto today’s songs!

Again, all these songs are coming from the [Airbag Playlist]. Here’s what we have so far for the MHAM Playlist Posts:

• [Volume 1] BTS – Blue & Grey || BTS – 00:00 (Zero O’Clock)
• [Volume 2] NIve – Tired || DAY6 – 그렇더라고요 (When You Love Someone)
• [Volume 3] DAY6 – Zombie || Lee Hi – 한숨 (BREATHE)
• [Volume 4] B.I | 깊은 밤의 위로 (Midnight Blue) || YAYYOUNG | You’re A Mess I’m A Mess (And That’s Alright)

You can find the Airbag Playlist on Spotify, here:

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MHAM PLAYLIST| VOLUME 5

The songs I chose for today’s post are: “Loser” by BIGBANG and “내게 들려주고 싶은 말 (Dear Me)” by Taeyeon. We’ve mostly talked about being in our feels, and just feeling sad and frustrated. We also talked about recognizing that it’s alright to feel how we feel, and it’s alright to take time and space for ourselves. However, our thoughts, feelings, and worries can be a myriad of different things. Often times it can be in regards to how we see and feel about ourselves. There are times we are filled with self-loathing and our self-esteem can be quite low. There are times we feel like we’re worthless, unlovable… just not worth loving. It can be a point where we’re just blinded my our self-loathing and perceived image of ourselves. We can end up truly believing negative perceptions of ourselves. However, that’s simply not true. Like what YAYYOUNG’s song in our last post said, “… it’s hard to see what you can be when you’re sad…” We’re all different from one another. We all have our own strengths and talents. We also carry importance to someone, and we often forget that we impact others. There are people who love you and can look up to you. There are people grateful to your existence. In some cases, your existence might have helped them find something important or have an incredibly positive impact on them. So there’s another important thing I want to remind everyone of: self-love. I’m pretty guilty of thinking pretty negatively about myself. However, around 2017, I realized that I should love myself more. So while I still sometimes struggle with it, I have been trying my best to practice more self-love. I know it’s hard to see sometimes, but please remember that you’re worthy of love too. However, as cliche as it may sound, the most important love you need is self-love. You may have to take it step by step like me, but I hope one day you can remember to love yourself too.

I’m a loser…I’m a dirty trash in the mirror…

BIGBANG | LOSER | Translation by [Genius]

I love myself. I trust myself. These are the words that will embrace me

TAEYEON | 내게 들려주고 싶은 말 (Dear Me) | Translation by [Color Coded Lyrics]

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BIGBANG | LOSER

There are times where we can hit rock bottom, crushed by the weight of the world. Sometimes you’re crushed by the words and expectations of others. There are times you wonder if there’s something wrong with you, believe it, and then blame yourself. There are times where your heart and soul feel completely crushed, and those negative thoughts and feelings seep in pretty deep. In those times you can start to change. You start to look more at the ground than you do the sky. You can start to feel completely alone. You can just feel completely worthless, and unbefitting of love; A loser. That was the case for me alot of times. Sometimes those kinds of feelings hit particularly hard randomly late at night for no apparent reason. There was a time I hit a pretty low and just kind of avoided conversations and people’s conversations. When your self-esteem is already fragile, it’s easy to spiral down and drown in negative thoughts and feelings. When you’re so weighed down, it’s easy to believe those things as fact, no matter what anyone tells you. In those times, I’d always listen to this song and just cry. Because I truly believed I didn’t have anything going for me, and just felt like I was a waste of space and time. Since 2017, I have started to ease up on myself and view myself more positively. However, I do admit that there are times I am still overwhelmed with negative thoughts about myself.

[Intro]
Loser, a coward pretending to be a loner
You are a useless delinquent in the mirror
Just a loser, I’m a loner, a wounded jerk
I’m a dirty trash in the mirror, I’m a

[Verse 1]
Honestly the world and me don’t match
I was alone, after love
It’s a long time since I’ve forgotten about it
I can’t listen to hopeful love songs anymore
You and me, we were domesticated
Like sad clowns in a script
I’ve come too far I’m coming home
Now I’ll go back again, to the time I was young

[Pre-Chorus]
Sincе when I, yeah
Have I been looking at thе earth instead of the sky? Oh
It’s hard even to breathe
I hold out my hand, but no one holds it I’m a

[Chorus]
Loser, a coward pretending to be a loner
You are a useless delinquent in the mirror
Just a loser, I’m a loner, a wounded jerk
I’m a dirty trash in the mirror, I’m a

[Verse 2]
Women and my mistakes repeat themselves
Love them for one night, hate them when the sun rises
I can’t take responsibility due to my egoism
Because of them, everything is ruined now
My dangerous speed who doesn’t know to stop
Now I have no interest, no fun anymore
I’m alone in the edge of the cliff I’m going home
I will go back to my old place

[Pre-Chorus]
Since when I, yeah
Started getting afraid of people’s stare? Oh
I’m sick of crying
I tried smiling, but no one recognizes me, I’m a

[Chorus]
Loser, a coward pretending to be a loner
You are a useless delinquent in the mirror
Just a loser, I’m a loner, a wounded jerk
I’m a dirty trash in the mirror, I’m a

[Bridge]
I curse the blue sky
Sometimes I wanna lay it all down, I want to say goodbye
When I stop wandering at the end of this road
I hope I can close my eyes without regrets

[Chorus]
Loser (Loser), a coward (Ooh, whoa-oh) pretending to be a loner
You are a useless delinquent in the mirror
Just a loser (Loser), I’m a loner (Oh-oh-oh), a wounded jerk
I’m a dirty trash in the mirror, I’m a

[Outro]
Loser
I’m a loser
I’m a loser
I’m a loser

BIGBANG | LOSER | Translation by [Genius]

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TAEYEON | 내게 들려주고 싶은 말 (Dear Me)

This song from Taeyeon is another song where every lyric hits hard for me. It is a reminder to myself, that I should love myself. I need to remind myself that I love myself and trust myself. It’s a wonderful thing to be loved and approved by others. However, the one who knows us best are ourselves. We’re stuck with ourselves. You can escape from your thoughts and feelings. I’ve said it before, we’re harshest on ourselves. But we need to remember to breathe and let things go. Things don’t go well. It’s okay to get support from others, but remember you’re the first one to support yourself. You know your feelings best. So please remember to be kinder to yourself, and please remember to love yourself. Maybe not right away, but it’s okay to take baby steps. I’m on that journey with you. We can take it a step at a time.

Please let go of me
So I can breathe
So I can be free
In this passing scene

There are things I wanna tell myself
As if I’m singing
I love myself
I trust myself
Words that I didn’t have before

Trap me
In this deep night
With only
Sleepless loneliness remaining

There are things I wanna tell myself
As if I’m singing
I love myself
I trust myself
Words that I didn’t have before

See how I’ve endured through the long darkness
Even if the night comes again, I won’t hide
I have myself by my side
To the sky that will start to brighten
I will become a spreading light and fly

If only I can tell myself
Some day
I love myself
I trust myself
Will you remember?

I trust myself
Please remember

I love myself
I trust myself
These are the words that will embrace me

TAEYEON | 내게 들려주고 싶은 말 (Dear Me) | Translation by [Color Coded Lyrics]

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Honestly, I have hella low-self esteem most of the time, and I’m also hella guilty of always deprecating myself in a half joking manner. I’ve had times in my absolute lows where I just absolutely despised myself. I’ll think things like how I don’t really have anything I’m particularly good at, or that I’m trash compared to everyone else. I’ll also wonder if I actually annoy everyone, and wonder why anyone is even friends with me. Again, this is during my lows. Blinded by loathing, self-esteem issues, sadness, depression, anxiety, and a whole mess of things. It can do some serious damage to your how you perceive yourself and ultimately your mental health. Although it maybe hard to see and may feel like empty words during your lows, please remember that there’s only one of you. You have things that are unique to you, and that ARE good at. Sometimes it’s a skill, hobby, or just your presence. We always forget that we have effects on those around us. Sometimes your presence is something that gives them strength and comfort. Sometimes you may have unknowingly had an effect in leading a certain change or event to happen. Things are can be tough. It’s especially tough when you’re stuck with in your head with all your negative thoughts and feelings. But I truly hope that you can one day let go of those negative things, and step by step, learn to love yourself more. Because you are precious, and you are worthy of being loved. Take care, stay safe, and have a wonderful day friends.

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Stay safe and healthy out there, y’all.

BLACK LIVES MATTER

AS A GROUP OF BIPOC, BAYOG strongly stands with Black Lives Matter. We are all too familiar with the racism that we, our friends, and family have faced on a daily basis. Every life is precious. However, as BIPOC, we also recognize that black people are a group of people that face extreme racism and at a higher risk for their safety. We’ve individually done several donations. Of course, donations to support the cause and support change isn’t the only thing needed. Support for the cause and change also requires conversation and understanding. Make sure to have those conversations. Please remember to be an active supporter, be it through donations, sharing information, and/or conversations and speaking up.

If you can, please consider donating. I’ve donated more than once as well. For one of my donations, I donated through the BTS ARMY x BLM project. I recommend that if you’re unsure of where to donate. This is because the donation will be split amongst several different non-profit organizations. Of course, you can also choose a specific organization(s) if you wish as well. You can find that [HERE].

You can also check out the following:

• http://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co
• http://blackliveswillalwaysmatter.carrd.co
• http://saytheirnames.carrd.co

STOP ASIAN HATE

As an Asian-American, racism, xenophobia, and hate crimes against AAPI isn’t new. It’s always been around. Unfortunately, misinformation and the pandemic has caused an insane surge in racism and xenophobia. There has also been an insane rise in hate crimes. More recently, we’re seeing a surge of hate crimes against the Asian elderly. Particularly in the California and New York areas. Some cases even leading to injuries and even death. The sad thing is that many cases do not get alot of attention, or are just looked passed. It breaks my heart and is cause for concern since it affects our community. Since some of the BAYOG Crew (including myself) are Asian-Americans ourselves, I wanted to use our small platform to help in anyway. Hate, racism, and xenophobia is an ugly thing. We’re friends, in the same community, and against the same social injustices. So be kind and let’s fight these things together.

You can also check the following for more information, ways to help, & to donate:

• http://hateisavirus.org
• https://gofundme.com/AAPI
• http://advancingjustice-aajc.org
• [Donate to Different Organizations to Support AAPI Communities]
• https://anti-asianviolenceresources.carrd.co
• https://stopasianhate.carrd.co/

Please report hate crimes at Stop AAPI Hate:

• http://stopaapihate.org

Volunteer
You can see if your community has a volunteer chaperone or neighborhood watch/patrol program.
Some examples:

• Compassion in Oakland @ Oakland, California| http://compassioninoakland.org
• Safe Walks @ NYC, New York| https://safewalx.com/en/welcome
• Guardian Angels| http://guardianangels.org/volunteer
  They’re well known patrol volunteers in NYC, but they do have other branches too.

Volunteer at any other organizations that provide assistance to Asian-Americans; Particularly the elderly.
Some examples:

• Heart of Dinner @ NYC, New York| https://www.heartofdinner.org/
  An organization that supports local businesses and provides meals and care packages to the Asian elderly in NYC.