Hello my BAYOG lovelies~ I’m back with part 4 of our Mental Health Awareness Month Playlist! I hope you’ve been enjoying the tracks so far. Most importantly, I hope they were able to make you feel less alone and bring you comfort, support, and encouragement when you need it. I also know my little blurbs can seem unnecessary. Still, I find that sometimes it’s comforting to hear other people’s experiences since it helps remind us that we’re not alone. So I’m happy if I was able to help somehow. Although my little blurbs may get shorter from this post on. Just because I feel like the songs already do a great job of covering what I would’ve said~

Again, all these songs are coming from the [Airbag Playlist]. Here’s what we have so far for the MHAM Playlist Posts:

• [Volume 1] BTS – Blue & Grey || BTS – 00:00 (Zero O’Clock)
• [Volume 2] NIve – Tired || DAY6 – 그렇더라고요 (When You Love Someone)
• [Volume 3] DAY6 – Zombie || Lee Hi – 한숨 (BREATHE)

You can find the Airbag Playlist on Spotify, here:

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MHAM PLAYLIST| VOLUME 4

Today’s songs are B.I’s “깊은 밤의 위로 (Midnight Blue)” and YAYYOUNG’s “You’re A Mess I’m A Mess (And That’s Alright)”. Again, I would normally bold out the parts of the lyrics that really hit me and I could relate to. However, today was another case where I found every lyric relatable and important. Today’s theme is recognizing our struggles, loneliness, and pain. Sometimes it just hits you hard. There are times you can’t help but just feel sad. There are times where you can’t really do anything, so you just cry. What I want to convey with these songs today is that it’s okay. It’s okay to want space to just deal with your emotions and to cry. You don’t need to apologize for when things get hard for you. Don’t apologize for feeling the way you do. I feel like there’s a stigma and fear to show our emotions. We often try to put up a front and deal with things silently and on our own. I’m guilty of doing this too. For me, I’m afraid to show my emotions and weakness. I don’t like feeling so vulnerable. Sometimes we’re made to feel like we shouldn’t show these emotions. We don’t want to be seen as weak, but also we don’t want to worry others. Other times, it may feel too complicated to explain to others. So we just choose to silently carry that weight on our own. The other thing is that sometimes it feels like others don’t see us and our struggles, and that they don’t understand. This is the other thing I want to convey with these songs. Those who care about you DO CARE. There are people who understand, and they truly love and cherish you. They’re there for you and want to help, but sometimes are just unsure of how to help. For me, I’m that kind of person to give my friends their space, but at the same time I’m silently lurking and checking on them. I tend to show my love and concern through small and random actions. Like randomly sending cookies to my friends who are out of state because I saw them tweet about their bad day. Because it makes me sad to see people I care about be sad. So I hope a small gesture can give them something to smile about, and make them a bit less sad. Love and care can be shown in many different ways. Sometimes giving space, but just being there is more than enough. So what I’m saying is… I’ll give you the space and time you need, but remember that I’m always here for you.

“I’ll pretend I don’t know…. So go ahead and cry…”

B.I | 깊은 밤의 위로 (Midnight Blue) | Translation by [Genius]

“I know it’s hard sometimes… Don’t apologize…”

YAYYOUNG | You’re A Mess I’m A Mess (And That’s Alright)

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B.I | 깊은 밤의 위로 (Midnight Blue)

OOF. I honestly really relate to this from my personal circumstances and experience. To be brief about it, I was forced to grow up a bit faster to help out my family. You can say I also sacrificed my childhood, but also alot of things in my life in general. Even now, I don’t have a clue of what I’m here for. But still, I tell myself that I want to be happy. I’m in a much better mental space than I was years ago. Back then, I would hold in alot of things and just silently and secretly cry at night. I get flustered and I absolutely hate crying in front of others. I’m also awful at relying on others. Although I have gotten better at relying on my friends now. Again, I’m in a much better mental space now. I don’t feel as bitter as I did then. However, I admit that sometimes I just have those nights where I do occasionally cry myself to sleep.

Having grown up too fast
Our hearts are too fragile
Deadly words like “sacrifice”
We embrace so naturally

What am I here for?
Without a clue
“Let’s just be happy” is all that’s said

Again, facing the night is your heart
I’ll keep it warm with a blanket
Holding back tears at night is your life
I’ll pretend I don’t know

Oh ohoh oh ohoh oh um

My pain that no one knows about becomes nothing
Everyone seems to live like that, with a bruised heart
Making a face that is fine
When do you become grown-up? and what’s next?
Home is usable and comfortable but still so cold
Yeah, when it is all over, the shitty moments may be memories
You never know
Your words today may be your last by tomorrow

What am I here for?
Without a clue
“Let’s just be happy” is all that’s said
Again, facing the night is your heart
I’ll keep it warm with a blanket
Holding back tears at night is your life
I’ll pretend I don’t know

So go ahead and cry

B.I | 깊은 밤의 위로 (Midnight Blue) | Translation by [Genius]

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YAYYOUNG | You’re A Mess I’m A Mess (And That’s Alright)

Again, this whole thing feels really personal and relatable to me. Sometimes we’re just so in our feels and thoughts, we just can’t breathe. We feel like people wouldn’t understand us. We sometimes feel it’s too difficult or troublesome to rely on others. At the same time, sometimes we’re in so much pain that we’re blind to see the people around us who love, support, and worry about us. At times we just feel so worthless and feel like we’re not loved, or even worth being loved. I’m guilty of sometimes feeling unloved and worthless. I get bouts of low-self esteem and doubt. I tend to blame myself for alot of things, even when it’s not my fault or if it’s something I have no control over. That’s not true though. So this song is a reminder that we do have people who understand, cherish, love, and worry about us. There are some who would honestly take the pain for us if they could. I’m thankful to my friends who understand me, love me, and give me the support I need. Sometimes, that’s all you really need. So this is a reminder to myself for when I’m in my lows. It’s also a reminder to my friends, that I care and I understand. I’m here for you, and I truly hope the pain goes away. I truly hope that won’t feel sad anymore.

I know it’s hard to see
What you could be
When you’re sad
I know it’s hard to breathe
When you can’t set free
What you had

I hope that you’re feeling better
You’re almost there
Just one more dream
Just one more night
Just a few more days of pain
I know it’s hard sometimes
Don’t apologize

You’re not unbeloved babe
You’re cherished and loved by me
I wish you and I could trade
Emotions like cards could be
I hope that you’re feeling better
Please don’t feel too sad anymore

I know how it feels to go unnoticed
Suffering, you’re so sad
I don’t blame you

I hope that you’re getting better
You’re almost there
Just one more dream
Just one more night
Just a few more days of pain
I know how it feels

You’re not unbeloved babe
You’re cherished and loved by me
I wish you and I could trade
Emotions like cards could be
I hope that you’re feeling better
Please don’t feel too sad any-more

YAYYOUNG | You’re A Mess I’m A Mess (And That’s Alright)

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That’s it for today’s post fam~ I hope these tracks bring you some comfort. Especially in those times where you’re just suddenly in your feels late and night and feel all alone with no one to turn to. I know the messages and ideas can seem really repetitive, but I feel like our feelings are on a spectrum. Some days is worse than others. There are times where a different song may hit you harder than another one. Either way, I just want to remind you that it’s ok to feel how you feel. It’s ok to cry and to have moments of weakness. It’s ok to want space and cry it out. You don’t need to apologize for that. But remember, that you’re not really alone. It may seem that way when we’re so deep in our feels and thoughts to the point that we’re drowning. We can be blinded by our own pain, but remember that you do have people around you. There are people who genuinely worry and care about you. You may feel like they don’t understand, or that you can’t begin to unpack what you feel. But that’s okay. We’re here for you if you want to talk, but we’re also still here if you don’t. We know it can be hard sometimes. Either way, you have someone beside you who will always support you, expect no explanations, and will not judge you. All they want is to be by your side, and for you to be happy.

Don’t forget to eat, drink some water, and take a break if you need it. Take care and stay safe friends. And please know that you’re loved. I hope your today will be easier than your yesterdays. Have a lovely day friends~

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Stay safe and healthy out there, y’all.

BLACK LIVES MATTER

AS A GROUP OF BIPOC, BAYOG strongly stands with Black Lives Matter. We are all too familiar with the racism that we, our friends, and family have faced on a daily basis. Every life is precious. However, as BIPOC, we also recognize that black people are a group of people that face extreme racism and at a higher risk for their safety. We’ve individually done several donations. Of course, donations to support the cause and support change isn’t the only thing needed. Support for the cause and change also requires conversation and understanding. Make sure to have those conversations. Please remember to be an active supporter, be it through donations, sharing information, and/or conversations and speaking up.

If you can, please consider donating. I’ve donated more than once as well. For one of my donations, I donated through the BTS ARMY x BLM project. I recommend that if you’re unsure of where to donate. This is because the donation will be split amongst several different non-profit organizations. Of course, you can also choose a specific organization(s) if you wish as well. You can find that [HERE].

You can also check out the following:

• http://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co
• http://blackliveswillalwaysmatter.carrd.co
• http://saytheirnames.carrd.co

STOP ASIAN HATE

As an Asian-American, racism, xenophobia, and hate crimes against AAPI isn’t new. It’s always been around. Unfortunately, misinformation and the pandemic has caused an insane surge in racism and xenophobia. There has also been an insane rise in hate crimes. More recently, we’re seeing a surge of hate crimes against the Asian elderly. Particularly in the California and New York areas. Some cases even leading to injuries and even death. The sad thing is that many cases do not get alot of attention, or are just looked passed. It breaks my heart and is cause for concern since it affects our community. Since some of the BAYOG Crew (including myself) are Asian-Americans ourselves, I wanted to use our small platform to help in anyway. Hate, racism, and xenophobia is an ugly thing. We’re friends, in the same community, and against the same social injustices. So be kind and let’s fight these things together.

You can also check the following for more information, ways to help, & to donate:

• http://hateisavirus.org
• https://gofundme.com/AAPI
• http://advancingjustice-aajc.org
• [Donate to Different Organizations to Support AAPI Communities]
• https://anti-asianviolenceresources.carrd.co
• https://stopasianhate.carrd.co/

Please report hate crimes at Stop AAPI Hate:

• http://stopaapihate.org

Volunteer
You can see if your community has a volunteer chaperone or neighborhood watch/patrol program.
Some examples:

• Compassion in Oakland @ Oakland, California| http://compassioninoakland.org
• Safe Walks @ NYC, New York| https://safewalx.com/en/welcome
• Guardian Angels| http://guardianangels.org/volunteer
  They’re well known patrol volunteers in NYC, but they do have other branches too.

Volunteer at any other organizations that provide assistance to Asian-Americans; Particularly the elderly.
Some examples:

• Heart of Dinner @ NYC, New York| https://www.heartofdinner.org/
  An organization that supports local businesses and provides meals and care packages to the Asian elderly in NYC.