Manga|She Likes Homos, Not Me

AYYYY BAYOG Fam! It’s been a while since I put out a manga post. Today I’ll be covering [彼女が好きなものはホモであって僕ではない/Kanojo ga Sukina mono wa Homo de Atte Boku dewa Nai]. It’s a 2018 manga adaptation of a light novel with the same name. The story is by Asahara Naoto, while the manga’s art is by Hirahara Akira. There’s also a 2019 drama adaptation titled 腐女子、うっかりゲイに告る/Fujoshi, Ukkari Gei ni Kokuru. That stars Kaneko Daichi and Fujino Ryoko. It’s a relatively short drama with 8 episodes that are 30 minutes long.

Before I get into it, I do have to explain that this series is LGBTQ+ related and is centered around the psychological struggles the protagonist undergoes in regards to his sexuality. I’m open-minded and fully support my dear LGBTQ+ friends. My personal opinion is that everyone is allowed to identify however they like, to be attracted to whomever they like, and to love whomever they like. In the end, just do you cuz we’re all people. Although I must admit that I may still have some ignorance in regards to terms and phrases. I’m also not great at eloquently organizing and explaining my thoughts into words. So I apologize if I mis-phrase something or cause some unintentional offense. Please know it was not my intention to offend anyone. If I make a mistake, please kindly inform and correct me. I admit I’m not all that knowledgeable, but I’m ready to learn because I do care about my friends.

**Also trigger/content warning: suicide/suicidal tendencies, prejudice, homophobia, bullying, and pedophilia (High schooler is in a relationship with an older middle aged man) does come up in this series.
Side Note: There are some explicit sex scenes, so NSFW.
Also, I know “homo” is a derogatory term. However, I left it as is since that’s literally what’s in the title of the series. The issue and correction of using “homo” is actually addressed in the series with the characters as well.

SYNOPSIS
High schooler, Andou Jun, one day witnesses his classmate, Miura Sae, buying BL manga. Miura becomes flustered and panics. She begs Andou to keep it a secret that she’s a fujoshi. Jun tells her that BL is just a fantasy and gayness in real life is seen as something dirty. However, he’s taken aback when she tells him that saying something like that is offensive to gay people. He keeps her secret, and they end up becoming closer. Miura ends up developing feelings for Andou. However, Andou hides a secret from his mother and friends. He’s homosexual, and has a relationship with an older married man who has kept his homosexuality a secret as well. Andou wishes he could be “ordinary” and live an “ordinary life”; To get married, have a wife, and have his own kids. He finds himself liking Miura. However, he just isn’t sexually attracted to women. He’s ultimately filled with self-loathing as he struggles with himself.

This series is something totally different for me. I never read this kind of story. It’s not typically something I would’ve been interested in as I typically focus on romance, shoujo, and seinen series. I actually stumbled upon the manga about 2 weeks ago? The art caught my eye, and the title made me go, “What…??” This series is definitely on the serious and heavy side. However, I enjoyed it. It’s a more mature kind of story with alot of psychological struggles. I admit that I’ve always been kind of sheltered and a bit ignorant. However, I do have many LGBTQ+ friends whom I love dearly. I always wholeheartedly support and love them. I remember a friend coming out to me. She was surprised I wasn’t that surprised and didn’t make a big deal. But the thing is, I wouldn’t see or treat you any different because you’re still you. Like I said, it doesn’t matter because we’re all human. You are who you are. Like I said, I love, support, and understand my friends. However, I also know that I don’t truly *know* their struggle. I can empathize, but ultimately, I’ve never experienced those kinds of situations or struggles. So this series was interesting to me for that. I found it enlightening as I was seeing what the protagonist went through and his thoughts. I thought it was pretty realistic in portraying the struggles one deals with when it comes to their sexual identity. I liked that it wasn’t a superficial “pretty” story with sunshine, rainbows, and butterflies. It showed the dark and ugly sides that people have to encounter and deal with. It showed the reality of prejudice, homophobia, internal struggles, self-loathing, pressure, etc. For me it gave me a glimpse into a reality that I know exists, but I’m not all that familiar with. So while the story seems very heavy and serious, I think it was insightful in showing me the struggles, thoughts, and emotions of people in the LGBTQ+ community.

[Spoilers ahead; Might go a bit spoiler heavy to discuss certain things…]

Jun is a high schooler who’s kept his homosexuality a secret from his friends, family, and classmates. He finds life and keeping his secret so very stiffling. Only a few people know his secret: Makoto (his lover), Yoko (the owner of the cafe/bar they frequent), and Mr. Fahrenheit (a blogger and his mysterious online penpal friend). He comes from a single family home and keeps his homosexuality a secret from his mother. Jun’s father had abandoned him and his mother, so he feels starved affection. He reasons that this must be why he’s attracted to older men. His lover, Makoto, is an older married man. Makoto has a family, including a son, but also keeps his homosexuality a secret. Jun has regular conversations with Makoto and Mr. Fahrenheit. Jun often confides in Mr. Fahrenheit, and asks for his advice. He considers Mr. Fahrenheit to be his best friend. Things like wondering why they are the way that they are, what is “normal”, the existence and use of labels in society, whether gays are being punished for “breaking the rules”, how society and those around them react and feel about them, etc.

We get a look into Jun’s internal struggle. He says he’s not looking for the approval of others. However, a part of him wonders why he can’t be “normal”. He’s attracted to men. However, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want the things that a normal life entails: marriage, having a baby, owning a house, and just having his own family. He doesn’t want to die alone. There are people like Makoto who keep their homosexuality, date/marry a woman, make a family, and seemingly live a “normal” life like anyone else. However, Jun’s just not sure he can do that. To live like Makoto would be to put up a show for the rest of his life.

Jun seems to pretty much distance himself from others. He doesn’t really open up to the people in his everyday life. As he continues struggling with hiding his homosexuality, he also starts harboring alot of self-loathing and some internalized homophobia. This is from hearing those around him say things like “Homos are gross”, “They’re disgusting”, “They’re dirty” and acting disgusted towards the subject. Jun, who is trying to appear “normal” goes along with these sentiments. It kind of eats him up inside since he doesn’t think anyone would ever understand or look favorably upon him.

Then he meets Miura, who’s a fujoshi. She’s like a major fan of BL series. Like Jun’s mother and friends, she also has no idea that Jun is gay. They unexpectedly get close. Miura is surprised and interested in Jun because he doesn’t seem to judge or discriminate against her for being a fujoshi. Jun seems to have an interest in Miura because she doesn’t say anything negative or discriminates against gays. Rather, she tells him that it’s rude to say such things. Although, she also believes that there’s no one like that (gays) around her.

Miura actually develops feelings for Jun. Jun realizes that he’s interested in Miura and enjoys her company. Because he also feels the need/want to be “normal”, he accepts Miura’s confession and they date. They even kiss. He sees it as a front and an chance to seem “normal”. Jun realizes that he likes Miura. Much like how Freddie Mercury liked his wife Mary Austin. Although realizes that he likes Miura, he recognizes that he’s still not sexually attracted to her. He just can’t because ultimately he’s only sexually attracted to men. In fact, he’s still seeing Makoto. Yet he’s also forcing himself and doing things that would ultimately hurt Miura. So he again spirals into depression, anxiety, and self-loathing. Jun’s self-loathing and guilt also pushes him to misplace his anger and frustrations at others. With everything, a part of Miura wishes he could just disappear.

Jun’s relationship with Miura becomes a bit strained as he’s having a hard time lying to her and putting up this front. Eventually, Jun’s secret is revealed. At first Miura is incredibly angry at Jun. However, his guilt causes him to spill all the things he’s kept hidden. In the end, Miura can’t bring herself to hate him after realizing the things he’s struggled with. After all, she genuinely held feelings for him. Unfortunately, his secret gets exposed by another classmate. People get shocked and he gets treated very differently. He’s blatantly ridiculed and bullied. He really showed the disheartening discrimination and prejudice that LGBTQ+ people face. This part of the story also showed that people often label, judge, and ridicule without much thought. They’ll push people and not consider the consequences or the effect that their words and actions have. I won’t say much more because it does get emotional. I don’t want to spoil the story much more than this because I’d rather you felt the raw impact of everything yourself.

Main story aside, I liked Miura because she showed what it meant to be a true friend and ally. She was also another example of “You can’t help who you love. Love is just love.” She was supportive. She really was Jun’s Mary Austin. She helped give him support, confidence, and a push to face things head on. Although the story is centered on Jun and his issues, there’s also a journey of Miura gaining courage and accepting herself as well.

Legendary band Queen and it’s front man Freddie Mercury are brought up alot in this series. It’s Jun’s comfort and he relates to Freddie and Queen’s music. As does those around him like Mr. Fahrenheit. It connects Jun to his friends who are also homosexual. Jun is always listening to Queen, as he finds Queen’s music to be his sanctuary. It allows him to feel true to himself. Queen’s music comes up alot and each chapter of the the series. Specific Queen songs are brought up and often really relate to the story. Fan translators Yeboi made a playlist with songs that correspond to the themes of each chapter. In a way, the songs also go with the story itself. I’ll list it here for you as well.

PLAYLIST
Chapter 1|[Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy]
Chapter 2|[Bicycle Race], [I Want It All], [I Was Born to Love You]
Chapter 3|[The Show Must Go On]
Chapter 4|[I Want to Break Free]
Chapter 5|[The March of the Black Queen]
Chapter 6|[Bohemian Rhapsody]
Chapter 7|[Save Me][Under Pressure]
Chapter 8|[Somebody to Love]
Chapter 9|[Somebody to Love]
Chapter 10|[Somebody to Love]
Chapter 11|[Love of My Life]
Chapter 12|[Love of My Life]
Chapter 13|[Teo Torriatte],[Don’t Stop Me Now]

So please hit me up or join our Discord server if you wanna discuss it~ Overall, the series is a heavy, mature, and serious kind of story. I’ve read comments and saw that it wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea. It can be a tough read due to the tone and subject matters. However, I enjoyed reading the series. I was impressed because it told a story and experiences that I am not familiar with. I like that it wasn’t presented as a simple story with simple and shallow solutions. It’s full of really complex characters and emotions. There’s truly a journey, self-realization, and growth. We’re shown that things aren’t black and white, nor are they simple. Things can’t aren’t simple where it can only fit a label. We really shouldn’t be putting labels anyway. We’re also shown that actions can have consequences. Sometimes the consequences are dire.

I liked it because I felt like it was a realistic kind of story. It addressed alot of really complex things from the struggle with one’s sexual identity, prejudice, homophobia, internal struggles, self-loathing, etc. It addressed not only the issues and feelings Jun experiences, but also those around him who are of different age and social groups. It gave multiple perspectives. It shows the different paths people take. So for me, this was a great series because of the issues it addressed and because it was quite realistic. I felt the characters, situations, and emotions were real. These are definitely things that can or have happened in real life. It’s definitely something that helps put people in the mindset of others. I think it helps you take a step back and really think about some things. I know LGBTQ+ groups all face alot of obstacles and prejudice all across the globe. However, I know that Asia in particular can be incredibly conservative and ignorant. While I’m sure this story is relatable to too all LGBTQ+ around the world, I appreciated that this particular story addressed the issues and prejudice faced in a conservative Asian setting.

So yeah, if you’re up for it, I definitely recommend giving it a chance. I know I was all over the place and probably didn’t explain this series too well. However, I really think it was a great read. It’s a great thought provoking piece, as well as a wonderfully written journey about finding, accepting, and truly loving oneself. The manga is a short read consisting of 3 volumes (13 chapters). I believe it’s not officially published in English yet. However, Yeboi, the fan translators, also did a brilliant job of leaving some notes, explanations, and cross references with the light novel at the end of each chapter. I really recommend reading their notes. There’s alot more I wish I could talk about, but I don’t want to spoil the whole thing. Have you read the manga or light series? Have you watched the drama? What were your thoughts?~ Let me know in the comments or through my socials! Take care, stay safe, and have a wonderful day y’all!~

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LET’S BE FRIENDS!~ (つ✧ω✧)つ

Hihi! I’m Minty! I’m Thai-American~ เป็นคนไทยค่ะ~ ยินดีที่ได้รู้จักนะคะ~
I’m BAYOG’s hella basic Asian chick, Real People Stuffs expert, and boba addict. I’ve been a part of the BAYOG Crew since 2017~ I fangirl and mostly blog about music, live action movies/dramas, and manga/webtoons~ When I’m not blogging, I’m usually writing/singing Thai-English covers~

It’s nice to meet all of you lovely people from around the world! Thanks for stopping by our blog!~
💜• ขอบคุณค่ะ • ありがとうございます • 감사합니다 • 谢谢你 • Salamat Po •💜

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Let’s talk memes, music, dramas, movies, or fan spazz!~
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JOIN THE BAYOG FAM (つ≧▽≦)つ 🎮🎞️
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Follow the BAYOG Bros Too!🎮
They all good people! These your guys for anime, manga, and games!
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BE SAFE. BE RESPONSIBLE.
WASH YOUR HANDS. WEAR A MASK.
SOCIAL DISTANCE. PLEASE.

Take care y’all. Please stay safe and take care of yourself. All jokes and fun aside…please, please, please, pleaaaase always wash your hands, practice social distancing, and wear a mask! I’m serious. Please take COVID-19 seriously. It truly is a matter of life and death. It’s something that needs to be taken seriously. It’s not just about the death of if you or someone you know gets it, but it also heavily affects those left behind. There are also aftereffects for those who are able to get through COVID-19. Be responsible. Be safe. Take care y’all. Have a wonderful day.

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BLACK LIVES MATTER

This is a difficult, but necessary matter to address. I’m not good at putting things into words, so I apologize. We all know the matter regarding the unjust murders of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and many others. The current Black Lives Matter protests are being covered globally. I’ve even seen it being covered daily by the Thai news. Racism is a very real thing. Being Asian, I’ve personally encountered bullshit racism on a daily basis. So I can relate and understand the struggles. However, I’m also aware of how much more difficult and blatant it is for black POC. AS A GROUP OF BIPOC, BAYOG strongly stands with Black Lives Matter. We’ve individually done several donations. Of course, donations to support the cause and support change isn’t the only thing needed. Support for the cause and change also requires conversation. Make sure to have those conversations. Aside from donating, I had several conversations with my family. I explained things to my parents, especially since some news stories were being reported inaccurately. I was afraid it’d be a bit difficult. However, as fellow POC and human beings, it was a necessary conversation. My parents and grandma understand, and now stand on the same page regarding BLM as well. Please remember to be an active supporter, be it through donations, sharing information, and/or conversations and speaking up.

If you can, please consider donating. I’ve donated more than once as well. For one of my donations, I donated through the BTS ARMY x BLM project. I recommend that if you’re unsure of where to donate. This is because the donation will be split amongst several different non-profit organizations. Of course, you can also choose a specific organization(s) if you wish as well. You can find that [HERE].

You can also check out the following:

• http://blmsites.carrd.co
• http://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co
• http://blackliveswillalwaysmatter.carrd.co
• http://blmstanguide.carrd.co
• http://saytheirnames.carrd.co
• http://useyourvoice.carrd.co

Stay strong. Fight racism, brutality, injustice, and bullshit. Don’t lose sight of the goal. We’re witnessing and being a part of history. Be allies and make sure change happens. Once again, BLACK LIVES MATTER.